Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
