If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize