so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Found the puke drawer
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
