Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sorry about my life...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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