I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
