But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
