Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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