I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
two words...techno handjob
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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