guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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