this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have fence marks all over my body
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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