Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
