After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
