every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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