Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize