That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drunk is not a location!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
