Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
