I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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