dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my poor anus
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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