Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
