he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
