I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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