did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
