I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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