it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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