Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
