exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
