Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
