Acid is not a monday night drug
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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