I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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