The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I want a musical about memes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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