we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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