I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
