garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize