Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
