But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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