I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize