I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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