I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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