You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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