Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
