I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
