Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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