think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Girls should come with a carfax report
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
