Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
