I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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