brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
