it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
