We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
