The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
