let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
