fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
