i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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