i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
