You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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