You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
