LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
