Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
