were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
