I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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