May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
