Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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