ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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