Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
