so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
