looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
