I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
