just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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