your thong is hanging out like whoa
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
