the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
