last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
